My Gulbarga Trip

chor manzil in Gulbarga

     “Welcome to Karnataka. To get the lowest call rates while roaming with us, dial so and so. Enjoy your stay in Karnataka.” there was a message in my inbox. Our speeding Tavera transcended in the land anciently called as Vijaynagara Empire.

Far along the horizon, there appeared a mosque-like structure. In misty winds clad with vortices of dust, that dark silhouette appeared like a movie scene.

“Well that’s Chor manzil, famous spot in Gulbarga”, Kaka added to our curiosity. Its construction was same like Gol-gumbaz in Bijapur.

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     The day before yesterday I got a chance to attend 28^th national conference of BAMCEF at Gulbarga. This was my very first conference and it turned out to be a good experience.

     Although I am an apathetic child in the fields of elections and politics, I understood what Mr. Waman Meshram was trying to address from the dais. He put forth that in our regular elections, party becomes eligible to form the governing body by winning the elections, even if 30% of the total MPs support it. This he told is the defect in current structural defect in elections.

     The each and every word he delivered from the dais was coming with such an energy that it it was getting permanently engraved in the heart. Then I came to know why BAMCEF has bloomed in such a way.

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     Vihar near Gulbarga University is a magnificent delight for those who believe in Buddhism. A huge dome (Stupa) and a spacious meditation hall underneath work like a tranquilizer for your mind. In stupa a Buddha idol is seated with his two disciples.  Taiwanian artistry shows its way through the design of these idols. Lord Buddha, appears to be looking down to whoever is sitting before him and his two disciples; even their eyes appear to be fixed in Lord Buddha’s feet.

     As we lean down thrice before Tathagata, and get up, our ever-suffering mind starts to get narrow and gets truncated like pinnacle of the Stupa. Inner walls of the Stupa are decorated with Buddha idols with his various hasta-mudra. This scene adds to the aristocracy of the ambience.

     A large meditation hall, structured with massive stambha (pillars) resemble the ones in Ellora caves. Meditating there, with eyes closed, you can listen to a sound. The sound of serenity. The sound of silence. As you go deeper and deeper within your endless mind, this sound reverberates through the hall and fills up the multitudes of the nukes and corners of the mind. There you get a feel of the universal oneness. You step out of the hall, thinking that if 15 minutes session of meditation can render you this serene, then how a nirvana will… A state of complete surrender… A state called as moksha…

You step out in the golden sunshine and you get connected to the world again; the real world, under the scrutiny of burning sun. You start walking to home but enigma and that ancient charm accompany you forever after…

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Time to rest.

Hah... Finally I exhaled with a sense of being free. Finished all my exams on 2^nd. How soothing it feels when you come out of the exam hall and straightway go to some eatery with friends!!! No tensions of tomorrows, nothing important to do as such and no deadlines to follow. Entire time of the day to own. The best sensation on the earth.

A sudden upsurge of need to write something came out from deep bottom of the mind –ah – that  was buried under it since 45 days!!!  So, penning down some of my current thoughts.

Really, making way through any task feels like emptying a container. No more to do. And I think this feeling is essential in life -  like after jumping over a hurdle on the track, an athlete feels. He gets a new enthusiasm for running. These term end exams were no difference.

Feeling rather organized now. First of all, I cleared up the mess which was waiting in the room to get cleared right from the day preparation leave started and till the day exams got over. And why, it felt like releasing loads off the shoulders. I didn’t know clearing up your stuff functions like a “commercial” mood-booster before this!

Of nudity, sex and life

Beyond a bumbat sexuality, there exist humanism. A pure human, who needs acceptance and esteem from  society. Silk is a legend- created, fostered, exploited and thrown away by community. Though she is bold, her sufferance drags her to an acrimonious suicide. The worst part of it. Smitha is a rebel to oh-so-proudly sophisticated society. The line seriously bears the gravity- Hameshase mardoka zamana raha hai aur auratone hungama macha diya hai.

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Friday evening came with two great pleasures. One was the most awaited end of semester exams and the other was a bunch of movie tickets and best part was the movie tickets had the title ‘The dirty picture’. Yeahh… The same one.

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“What so dirty about it?” The film questions you. Are the costumes dirty? Or slangs? It must be the showbiz of some of the private assets that belong to a famous name- Vidya Balan. Umm-no. Silk, Silk smita. The ever glazing fabric which in turn came out to be frivolous.

At one point there comes a shot in which silk gets awarded for her work(?)  And unfortunately her ‘chief-exploiter’ gives away the award. She possess such a daring attitude that she stands in front of whole audience and vents her feeling off. She straightway questions the audience – ‘If I am filthy then what will you call of yourself? I make showbiz of whatever god has gifted me. Aren’t you the ones who look at it with lusty gazes? I admit my movies are not suitable for family watching but aren’t you the ones who watch them sneakily? ‘ At that point somebody calls her the real bagawat.

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Silk is another side of a woman, the woman who throws herself upon the men who beckon at her. She celebrates her womanhood her best. Here she is different than other women. She breaks all the rules set by the community for the proximities of opposites. She enjoys the “sex” part of it up to her fullest. Be it for the solutions for her personal purposes like success and for getting more work…

 But life wants everyone to be pragmatic at one or the other time. When it comes to the terms of the relationship, the only thing she gets is frustration. She can’t take it when the man who is so crazy about being naked with her in bed has nothing to do with her existence and happiness. She comes to know her position in his life when she sees his wife cuddling him up in his bed and his care for her which shows its way out through his gestures.

Her heart breaks into pieces at this point. She searches for love in every relationship she comes across but she finds every man far beyond being “tangible”. Nobody is ready to marry her. Everybody says-“aisi ladkiya sirf bistar tak laneke liye achhi hoti hai, shadi karneke liye nahi.”

This all affects her seriously leading her to withdrawal from her own life. In addition to this, she loses everything she collects through her life.  Money, status, fame… everything. To meet her rising dues, she searches for the work and meets a director. And fatefully, he happens to be a porn film director. He makes drink for her so that she can be at ‘ease’ during act. But police raids there and she gets thrown away on the roads. Alcoholised, she hardly can walk, she vomits on the road and sees her own reflection into it. That is the damn suggestive scene of the movie. The whole movie is decorated with many of such beauty-spots. A parallel love story of silk and imraan comes like a ray of hope but turns into a tragedy.

And finally, resigned from her battle for her existence, she says- “zindagi toh tabhi mehsoos hoti hai jab who sabse mayoos hoti hai”

That’s it. After that an overdose of sleeping pills. A dreadful peace fills up the ambience. The peace she is in search of from ages…

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