My Gulbarga Trip

chor manzil in Gulbarga

     “Welcome to Karnataka. To get the lowest call rates while roaming with us, dial so and so. Enjoy your stay in Karnataka.” there was a message in my inbox. Our speeding Tavera transcended in the land anciently called as Vijaynagara Empire.

Far along the horizon, there appeared a mosque-like structure. In misty winds clad with vortices of dust, that dark silhouette appeared like a movie scene.

“Well that’s Chor manzil, famous spot in Gulbarga”, Kaka added to our curiosity. Its construction was same like Gol-gumbaz in Bijapur.

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     The day before yesterday I got a chance to attend 28^th national conference of BAMCEF at Gulbarga. This was my very first conference and it turned out to be a good experience.

     Although I am an apathetic child in the fields of elections and politics, I understood what Mr. Waman Meshram was trying to address from the dais. He put forth that in our regular elections, party becomes eligible to form the governing body by winning the elections, even if 30% of the total MPs support it. This he told is the defect in current structural defect in elections.

     The each and every word he delivered from the dais was coming with such an energy that it it was getting permanently engraved in the heart. Then I came to know why BAMCEF has bloomed in such a way.

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     Vihar near Gulbarga University is a magnificent delight for those who believe in Buddhism. A huge dome (Stupa) and a spacious meditation hall underneath work like a tranquilizer for your mind. In stupa a Buddha idol is seated with his two disciples.  Taiwanian artistry shows its way through the design of these idols. Lord Buddha, appears to be looking down to whoever is sitting before him and his two disciples; even their eyes appear to be fixed in Lord Buddha’s feet.

     As we lean down thrice before Tathagata, and get up, our ever-suffering mind starts to get narrow and gets truncated like pinnacle of the Stupa. Inner walls of the Stupa are decorated with Buddha idols with his various hasta-mudra. This scene adds to the aristocracy of the ambience.

     A large meditation hall, structured with massive stambha (pillars) resemble the ones in Ellora caves. Meditating there, with eyes closed, you can listen to a sound. The sound of serenity. The sound of silence. As you go deeper and deeper within your endless mind, this sound reverberates through the hall and fills up the multitudes of the nukes and corners of the mind. There you get a feel of the universal oneness. You step out of the hall, thinking that if 15 minutes session of meditation can render you this serene, then how a nirvana will… A state of complete surrender… A state called as moksha…

You step out in the golden sunshine and you get connected to the world again; the real world, under the scrutiny of burning sun. You start walking to home but enigma and that ancient charm accompany you forever after…

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Time to rest.

Hah... Finally I exhaled with a sense of being free. Finished all my exams on 2^nd. How soothing it feels when you come out of the exam hall and straightway go to some eatery with friends!!! No tensions of tomorrows, nothing important to do as such and no deadlines to follow. Entire time of the day to own. The best sensation on the earth.

A sudden upsurge of need to write something came out from deep bottom of the mind –ah – that  was buried under it since 45 days!!!  So, penning down some of my current thoughts.

Really, making way through any task feels like emptying a container. No more to do. And I think this feeling is essential in life -  like after jumping over a hurdle on the track, an athlete feels. He gets a new enthusiasm for running. These term end exams were no difference.

Feeling rather organized now. First of all, I cleared up the mess which was waiting in the room to get cleared right from the day preparation leave started and till the day exams got over. And why, it felt like releasing loads off the shoulders. I didn’t know clearing up your stuff functions like a “commercial” mood-booster before this!

Of nudity, sex and life

Beyond a bumbat sexuality, there exist humanism. A pure human, who needs acceptance and esteem from  society. Silk is a legend- created, fostered, exploited and thrown away by community. Though she is bold, her sufferance drags her to an acrimonious suicide. The worst part of it. Smitha is a rebel to oh-so-proudly sophisticated society. The line seriously bears the gravity- Hameshase mardoka zamana raha hai aur auratone hungama macha diya hai.

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Friday evening came with two great pleasures. One was the most awaited end of semester exams and the other was a bunch of movie tickets and best part was the movie tickets had the title ‘The dirty picture’. Yeahh… The same one.

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“What so dirty about it?” The film questions you. Are the costumes dirty? Or slangs? It must be the showbiz of some of the private assets that belong to a famous name- Vidya Balan. Umm-no. Silk, Silk smita. The ever glazing fabric which in turn came out to be frivolous.

At one point there comes a shot in which silk gets awarded for her work(?)  And unfortunately her ‘chief-exploiter’ gives away the award. She possess such a daring attitude that she stands in front of whole audience and vents her feeling off. She straightway questions the audience – ‘If I am filthy then what will you call of yourself? I make showbiz of whatever god has gifted me. Aren’t you the ones who look at it with lusty gazes? I admit my movies are not suitable for family watching but aren’t you the ones who watch them sneakily? ‘ At that point somebody calls her the real bagawat.

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Silk is another side of a woman, the woman who throws herself upon the men who beckon at her. She celebrates her womanhood her best. Here she is different than other women. She breaks all the rules set by the community for the proximities of opposites. She enjoys the “sex” part of it up to her fullest. Be it for the solutions for her personal purposes like success and for getting more work…

 But life wants everyone to be pragmatic at one or the other time. When it comes to the terms of the relationship, the only thing she gets is frustration. She can’t take it when the man who is so crazy about being naked with her in bed has nothing to do with her existence and happiness. She comes to know her position in his life when she sees his wife cuddling him up in his bed and his care for her which shows its way out through his gestures.

Her heart breaks into pieces at this point. She searches for love in every relationship she comes across but she finds every man far beyond being “tangible”. Nobody is ready to marry her. Everybody says-“aisi ladkiya sirf bistar tak laneke liye achhi hoti hai, shadi karneke liye nahi.”

This all affects her seriously leading her to withdrawal from her own life. In addition to this, she loses everything she collects through her life.  Money, status, fame… everything. To meet her rising dues, she searches for the work and meets a director. And fatefully, he happens to be a porn film director. He makes drink for her so that she can be at ‘ease’ during act. But police raids there and she gets thrown away on the roads. Alcoholised, she hardly can walk, she vomits on the road and sees her own reflection into it. That is the damn suggestive scene of the movie. The whole movie is decorated with many of such beauty-spots. A parallel love story of silk and imraan comes like a ray of hope but turns into a tragedy.

And finally, resigned from her battle for her existence, she says- “zindagi toh tabhi mehsoos hoti hai jab who sabse mayoos hoti hai”

That’s it. After that an overdose of sleeping pills. A dreadful peace fills up the ambience. The peace she is in search of from ages…

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Masculine Menopause

Yes, I am talking about the department. There are the limits for the generation gaps. When people start thinking neurotically that the nature of their young counterparts taking invasive stance, they start caressing their self esteem by JUST dominating them.

Incidence was my seminar assessment. I had become so vulnerable after my guide sent me back to correct my well-bound report. My mind was obsessed by thoughts of the lectures that were counting on that 50 marks phenomenon. Those are always sincere people who suffer. My case wasn’t any difference. Good-for-nothing ATMs in the campus added to my plight. I then went to Sunil’s net café. The only thing that felt like rescue for the time. He only can let my bills go forever. I went to him and corrected the report. It consumed the time equated to two of my lectures. I then reached to Xerox and printing centre, borrowing money from friend. (Thanks to ‘automated’ tailor machines in the campus and everywhere.)

There was a huge line in printing centre like tomorrow all people in the campus were boarding the Noah’s ark with their print-outs. With profuse sweat on my forehead and all over the body I was waiting hard for the turn. My turn was about to come and suddenly one of my friends called up and told the few more ’updated’ corrections that were to be made in the report. Listening to all people’s bombastic screams, like it was a music, I was editing my report there in front of everybody, on the ‘only PC’ that was available in the printing centre.

Finally I made it anyhow at 3:15 when all lectures were finished. I showed the corrected copy to my guide and she finally signed it. I then went to HOD for the sign which was mandatory and was told as the ‘important one’, without which we were going to be “virtually detained!”

After waiting for his calls to be finished, I entered his cabin for the sign. And- and he refused for sign. The reason was – why we did not attend the lectures today! Everything concluded like this.

We were no “virtually detained” for the HOD sign matter. But we were told to write an undertaking for missed lectures.  “THE TWO MISSED LECTURES!!!”

Of those four the first two were an Abhiyanta Manch venture. In which the principal was taking about the plight of rural students.

I want to make one thing very clear- I am not at all interested in social services. I don’t personally like to know about the rural students’ problem. My own life faces many problems every day. I get exhausted struggling getting solutions for them.  Why would I attend and get to know how tough others are doing? Be them my rural counterparts. Why would I attend such a socialistic lecture when I am told that I am on the verge of getting detained?

My whole day’s efforts behind presenting the state-of –the-art seminar report were in vain. All this because of one indecent gesture of authorities.

They want us to do everything at a time like we have an extra-ordinary expertise in all the things. Come on, we are just learning. There should be some restraint in their attitude I say.

Authorities never talk to anybody friendly, unless there is some work. Does that make sense? All the interaction we have is full of fear, anger for bad things, and no motivation for good things. They behave isolated, distant, irritated, and dry.

They are afraid of results dipping down. They feel insecure.

That’s why I feel department and the authorities are suffering from a menopause.

Sunday Alone!!!

I sometimes wonder why these Sunday evenings have to be so tedious. Feeling neurotic. All the melancholic memories resurface every time I witness a lonesome Sunday evening.

I remembered somebody’s saying, ” You don’t matter for me.”

“Maybe that’s why you wanted me to know that I don’t matter for you.” – My reply was followed by a thudding sound. Really, these earpieces of landline phones suffer a lot.

I look out of the window. I see mountain silhouettes glistening in silvery sunshine. Soon the ambience becomes vivid and starts coloring my mind too. The horizon is set alight by the time…

I found my cell phone was ringing when the thoughts about my incomplete assignments started horrifying me. It was Tushar talking about the same. Assignments. I felt little relaxed when he declared he did none of the assignments. And I felt little more soothing when I was in canteen with an amusing taste of sweet, milky tea.

To elevate the mood, I called up bai and asked how everyone at home was doing. Till I got back into pace, boys called me up and again I landed in the canteen. Relishing tasty pakodas prove one of the best anti-depressants. And being with friends proves one the best self-actualizing technique.

So that was it. The story of a Sunday.  

Bags Lelo!

Possessing all her wit, she entered the country. One must learn how to trade a 'hilton' way. after getting retired from her television and film career she launched her own range of bags. i cant analyze sometimes why these indian media have to be so prejudiced about someone who is so 'beatiful' having an X factor within.

Apart form her blonde and beautiful persona, i get a small hint of her being diplomatic too. I think india is not a country a foreigner will appriciate when he comes to the country for the very first time. Unfortunately our attitude isn't so patriotic like they posses for their countries. thus we are lagging somewhere to make the country impressive-looking. even though she says the words like spiritual and feel-good while explaining her experiences about the india. she orders her costume designers to design some good ethnic weart suit the indian culture. she declares she likes to wear bindi on her forehead.(Do indians care to wear this much ethnic everyday?) but she carries all the indian ethnic stuff so-swiftly. she admires the women here for their extra-ordinary eye-makeup skills. on top of everything she declares she would love to come back to india over again and again.

What i want to address from this article is - bhai, look at her marketing expertise! she knows her enchanteur of being a celeb is a long-ago thing in her home land. so she flew thousands of miles and has come to india to showcase and popularise her brand. Its worldwide-known thing that Indian community likes the packages which are blonde, rich and famous. she catches the nerve of the indian society.

anyways, keeping all her so-called frivolous gestures to herself, those are indian women who need to adopt the attitude she bears.

It is always easy to gossip about anybody. Indian people should be mature enough to broaden their sense of welcoming the things happening around them.

If hilton can do this, any celeb indian can do the same. there is no issue of blindly copying the things. its about your maturity levels. It is about enculcating the concept that selling your bags with a smile on your face and sugar in your mouth is not an objectionable thing.

If Paris Hilton is cunning, So we should be.

Shekhar and other friends got placed

It was the most memorable day. I was returning to the room after my exam. It was a tedious TOM paper. Still I was in good mood because I had found it very easy and I was happy like a lark. As I neared the room, I saw Shekhar and Swapnil coming hand-in-hand. As they both were from Sakharwadi, they obviously had stuck to their phone calls like they were CEOs of a multinational company. In our hostel, there are some people who are from Sakharwadi who follow some serious behavioral dogma. Like they will attend at least 10 phone calls a day and will boast of it as they like people.I started walking with them. After Shekhar finished his phone call he had a beeeg smile on his face. I asked the reason. He said “ I got placed in Accenture.”  I had no words to congratulate him. After all , his dream had come true. Soon we came to our room.He said, “Shrikant had two-two options. Accenture and Infosys.”“And don’t say he chose Accenture out of them” I said with frowns on my forehead. “Hahaha of course he chose Accenture”, Shekhar said.“Whaat? But why did he leave Infy? It’s such a good company!” I said.“Ya I know but they make you work like you work on daily wages. And on the other hand, Accenture, which is a multi-national company and you have a good growth pattern there!” he said with an attitude like a veteran employee there.I was totally uncomprehended about the situation. I said ”ok I donno much of it”I said but I was still thinking of the salary package he got. It was 3 lakh bucks! Altogether! And my dearest friend was going to earn that. It was a strange feeling. I was still dreaming of it. Lucky guy!Swapnil said “oh, don’t you think you deserve a nice bump session right now. I know it would have been a great fun with all guys here like, Shrikant himself, Kalpit, Mayur and all. Come Pushkar. “He invited me and leaned forward and held his legs. Shekhar stood on his bed. Swapnil was still struggling for holding his legs together, till then I joined him and held Shekhar’s hands. He surrendered. A little snatch and he fell down on his bed. I and Swapnil fetched him on the floor. Swapnil held his legs while I held his hands together and we both lifted him up till his bumps were accessible and started kicking it hard. He yelled like anything. We all were having fun. I felt like capturing this video because after certain time I was going to miss this all. The guys were going to leave. I felt uneasy of the thought of being parted. It was totally unbearable.We left him there on the floor. And we all sat on our beds. Laughing and enjoying the moment. These two dear trustworthy bastards were going to leave after all. These three years of life were just unforgettable. All memories flashed in front of me. It all felt like yesterday we have met each other. It never felt like three long years! My friends with whom I lived this long were going to leave?  The bloody rascals with whom I used to fight over a plate of Maggie which used to be made of last ten rupees left in the pocket were leaving to earn in lacs? The friends who shared everything with me from clothes to toothpaste, hair oil, pen drives, laptops, bags… etc etc etc.. Were leaving as some industry professionals? Hey, this felt like crazy! “When are you going to join your jobs?” Swapnil was asking Shekhar.“Joining will be in September – November. And after that we’ll be having a training of six months. We’ll be getting only eight thousands for the training”“Eight thousands per month or eight thousands as a whole for eight months?” I interrupted him.Everybody laughed. Shekhar went on laughing and laughing and I found his eyes were wet.“Innocent question” he said and kept mum.I suddenly remembered an incidence. Once there was no money at all with anybody. We all were hungry. And there wasn’t any mess. All we could do was to go to a hotel and eat. But there was no money with anybody at all. Shrikant then went to landlord and borrowed some 200 rupees and we ate that day. I wiped my eyes. And even if we wanted to buy something to eat we bought bananas because only they came in good quantities in less amounts. There were lots lots of incidences like this. Like I borrowed 700 rupees from a teacher to fill up my exam form, Shekhar borrowed some 5000 rupees from shrikant to go to a trip with his friends. I remembered them all.  These all money problems were going to be solved finally.But it was getting difficult for me to get used to the idea of being parted. I repeat it never felt like 3 long years. Yesterday we had met each other and this one day had changed everything. Till yesterday it was different and from tomorrow onwards it was going to be different. There would not be any teasing, cracking cheap jokes, and hitting those Devdas dialogues at each other. There would not to be such a trustworthy place to open each and every secret. There wouldn’t be any last-10-rupees-left-and-what-to-buy-of-it discussions. There wouldn’t be any Chiwda or Maggie Daawat. There were thousands of such things-to-be-missed. I remember the day when I first met all these guys and shared a formal smile. We never had thought the things will come up to this point. I felt a lump in my throat.Still there are 6 months for that acrimonious moment when those bastards will come and say- “time to go man….”

Stolen...

August  08 2011.

Well it was just an atrocious moment for me. I was standing dumbfounded on the swargate bus stop and my mind wasn’t ready enough to accept that I had lost my phone-yes-the-gifted-one by atya and mama worth Rs. 7200/- 3G handset!

I could not believe even I can undergo such an embarrassing incidence in my life. I blamed myself for asking for such a costly toy to atya-mama. They were going to be prejudiced about me hereafter. What an annoying moment for them too!

But this incidence taught me so much of life. It was not the case that I was not going to be able to buy the same piece but the piece mama had gifted was much more to me. There would not be any affection behind the piece which I would buy.

I learned so many things from this incidence. May be they will appear so-philosophical but they are for me.

First thing, things happen in just a moment. You JUST can’t control them. You CANNOT. Just a flash, gone and gone-is-gone. Howsoever you think on it, analyze it, it won’t come back. First time in life I felt I lost something forever. Like there was no replacement for it. The pain it caused was unbearable.

Second thing, I had a cut-throat quarrel with Shekhar, my dearest friend alive on earth, on the same day I lost my phone. I didn’t know why but I was being very eccentric those days. I had lost complete interest with people around me. I would sometimes insult him without any reason; sometimes beat him till he gets hurt. But he hardly uttered any word. But when I lost my phone, I went to him started crying like a baby, he held me near. He was trying to cajole me! I could not believe. A friend, whom I had slapped tightly in the afternoon, was sitting beside me in the evening and urging me to get down with the thoughts of self-blaming. He was suggesting me how I was supposed to face the incidence. This was a little thing but appeared too great that day with that mindset. This showed me the importance of people in my life. They had to be prior to material possessions in life. Always. However the situation was going to be.

Third thing, I used to underestimate the people. I always felt a grandeur using this high end Smartphone. I would boast the good things in my phone which others did lack in. I did not let anybody handle it. I had become over-possessive about the phone. But the time when I lost my phone their phone began to appear the great ones. I started realizing how futile my thoughts about my phone were. Everybody was using the phone their parents could afford. So in nutshell, never underestimate people. God will show you the both- a high tide and a low tide. Don’t be outrageously possessive when you have everything. Who knows, next day you will be out in sunshine but the people you feel at lower level than you would be having at least their huts to hide?

Fourth thing, never ever be apart from your family. It was atya- mama , snehal. Kalpit, and bai only who dragged me out of this melancholy. It was unbelievable when mama, who gifted me that phone, was assuring me to get the new one on the same day I lost it! So always confine to your family. Never even think to be apart from them. Be loyal to them. Remember, YOU OWE THEM TO BE WITH THEM.

The last and fifth thing, everything is impermanent. Nothing will follow you till the end. You are going to lose everything on one fine day. Yes- “everything”. So don’t take a long while to mend your heart. Leave the things at their place & move on with the life, wherever it takes you. And why- you are going to lose yourself one day, right? So don’t keep mourning for the things. Move on with the life. JUST MOVE ON!!!

A Sunday Evening...

Sunday, September 18, 2011.

 

I sometimes wonder why these Sunday evenings have to be so tedious. Feeling neurotic. All the melancholic memories resurface every time I witness a lonesome Sunday evening.

I remembered somebody’s saying, ” You don’t matter for me.”

“Maybe that’s why you wanted me to know that I don’t matter for you.” – My reply was followed by a thudding sound. Really, these earpieces of landline phones suffer a lot.

I look out of the window. I see mountain silhouettes glistening in silvery sunshine. Soon the ambience becomes vivid and starts coloring my mind too. The horizon is set alight by the time…

I found my cell phone was ringing when the thoughts about my incomplete assignments started horrifying me. It was Tushar talking about the same. Assignments. I felt little relaxed when he declared he did none of the assignments. And I felt little more soothing when I was in canteen with an amusing taste of sweet, milky tea.

To elevate the mood, I called up bai and asked how everyone at home was doing. Till I got back into pace, boys called me up and again I landed in the canteen. Relishing tasty pakodas prove one of the best anti-depressants. And being with friends proves one the best self-actualizing technique.

So that was it. The story of a Sunday.