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It’s snehal’s bday. Had a lot of fun. Cakes, gifts, greetings who-wished and whodint-wish.

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It rained today. Out of nowhere. It was slightly predictable though, looking at the extent days were hot. Suddenly in afternoon it fell dark and light drizzle came down along with those small tornados. Had a cup of my staple drink "nescafe" after a long time as weather was delightful and cold.

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I was travelling by a city bus looking out at the climateand enjoying myself. Buses were outcrowded as everyday they are. People were flooding through them. I was calm all the time. Dhanashree even dared to ask me why so silent. Maybe these submissions, I said. Like usual.


Suddenly music pouring into my ears through headphones changed the track and started playing Parikrama.

“Wrapped in a polythene, tucked away safe in my mind

a little goodbye, maybe, or just a passing smile

The birds fly away to the sky still searching for home

a bunch o' paper flowers, or a little child left all alone

Can somebody hear me, I'm screaming from so far away

morning who'll calm you, the evening's eclipsed again

*Well does life get any better

more yesterday than today

How I thought the sun would shine tommorow

But it rained...

They justified the cause for which Daddy might give up his life

,it's been so long, so long a time but still I miss Daddy at night

The ache is long gone but the never keeps staring at me

the waters in the seas are high, and all the sand castles have drowned

*Well does life get any better

more yesterday than today

How I thought the sun would shine tommorow

But it rained...”

I got off the bus and started walking home.


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Nowadays I have started wondering if this is the time of my spiritual crisis. A lot of disturbing things happening around and people behaving crazy. I am confused about what I want and what I need. A lot of things to expect but nothing reprocating properly. Maybe I have to work on myself these days… in these days of selfish people.


I look back at those days and that life when faces remained familiar throughout the life. There were no intentions behind every word spoken. Help was not a favour or debt to return it back. Everything was absolute and I miss it.


Dhanshree asks , “why so silent?”


“ Maybe these submissions.”, I routine answer


But really it hurts when faces start to regain their unfamiliarity. It hurts when dear ones who were strangers sometime ago start to become strangers again.
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How City Pride kothrud is related with Mechanical Engineering

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In front of the shop I was standing. It was closed. I watched the time. It was still 9:30am. My assumption for time was again a failure. I thought city pride kothrud is at a distance of an hour by PMT, but it turned out to be just 20minutes. Crossword. The shop for multitudes of books. I thought it will be nice to make time pass there reading books for 45 minute till scheduled “industril visit” commences at 10:15am.

But my bad. There was a board –“shop will open at 11:00am”. I really did not have slightest of the idea how was I supposed to pass 45minutes.

There I was, out in the sun, waiting for my other classmates to come. Allshops in city pride kothrud were closed.

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Well it was a nice visit to very own(for obvious reasons) CPK(abbrv. for City Pride Kothrud). Visit was schedule by college itself to watch air-conditionning system there instead of the movie.


An engineer’s job! To sit at back and rule everything. To manage and make sure if all the occupants are getting enough cold, well-conditioned air to inhale!!!


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Under the basement, there was compressor unit which cooled the circulating water in the system.


Capacity-125 HP. Energy equivalent to that of 125 horses collectively!!! Hot water coming from upstairs was absorbing the heat in the system and was being pumped to the roof in the cooling tower to expell it.


There we were, out in blazing sun, watching cooling towers. For a minute, thought came in my mind to go and to stand under those cool water showers… after that we were at AHUs. (Air Handling Units)


And last but not the least, we saw the projector room too. It was a dangy little single room containig machines fitted with focuses. Three of the five shows were being broadcasted there – online. The keeper was keen to show us how they download it from servers and how they activate the pin for it which is eight days valid and how they stream it. He answered all our whatz and howzats. (not to mention – but movies were – houseful two and titanic 3D.


Visit was fine.

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Emotional Catharsis

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Out there it was a beautiful morning covering the entire city with its quotidian enigma. I looked out of the window and the sunlight was still soft yellowish. Well I thought this semester life moved me through a beautiful time all the way.

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Ah!

Submissions! Submissions! Submissions!

A dreadful and highly restless period that comes in the life of every engineering student – semiannually. Well I have not that much amount of tension to bear in mind as 70% of the submission work is already completed. Also I am not that pessimist to mourn about remaining 30%, but the thought of completion still contemplate my mind like anything all the day, that is the only thing.

Being a weekend day, Sunday always feels cozy. Sitting in the room whole day, doing our own thing, wandering out whole evening and lot other things to do what a boy living in a hostel should do. Well this reminded me of the last weekend. It was bullshit to describe as. I was in hadapsar at atya’s place. Well it’s not that I don’t like it to be there, but last weekend was a little depressing as I had nothing to do and nothing to talk about. The only good thing I underwent was an emotional catharsis.  Snehal Sherkhane. My dear cousin. She has a god’s gift or boon or whatever in the matter of provoking people to talk their self in and out in front of her. I shared all my real thoughts with her, like how badly I hate it when somebody touches my ego, how I hate some of the people of my kinship, how I want my family should be and how I had faced a jolly heartbreak last  month. Everything. Everything like I was drunk that day. Or that night to be precise.

I considered myself very rigid whenever it came to revealing the true feelings – before this. I believed I was able to handle my consciousness with all its frequent turbulences and uproars of natural instincts that came along with thoughts. Disturbing or not disturbing. But that time I unfolded the deepest of the deepest envelopes of thoughts in my heart.

No matter how light my heart felt after that but however, I thought like I should not have spoke it in front of Snehal. At least not Snehal. The girl so innocent that everything in her heart comes onto her face readily. Some secrets look good as secrets.

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Next Monday it will be Snehal’s birthday. 16^th April. She’s turning 22 and she will become post-graduate too. It’s a double delight for all of us. And there is one more reason to celebrate it a grand way. Early twenties… girl… yes, these might be her last few years as gorgeous “miss” Snehal Sherkhane. It’ll be no wonder to hear the news “guest are coming to see” in upcoming couple of years.

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Industrial visit to GHAATGHAR.

We all in front of dam wall

While surfing through, Saw some candid snaps of our visit to Ghatghar dam. The trip blasted like kilos of dynamite. We had a never forget fun. Well it was my first ever long distance trip with my college mates. Ofcourse we had "a college guyz" fun alltogether. We danced like any indian wedding ceremonial dance all the way in a narrow gangway in that 3x2 luxury bus. 
Malshej ghat was like a day-dream for us. Not a bit to believe. It throws all its grandeur over you while advancing at a slow pace through those narrow tortuous roads. Konkan felt a little hotter than Pune. 
Guest house at Ghatghar dam was a typical govt. guest house. Food we had there was good for our hungry bellys. 
Inside of ghatghar dam is amazing. Those godly machines and monstrous pipes feeding them reminded me of the movie titanic. The scene was same as that of those huge crank shafts vibrating furiously. Here crank shafts were absent but machinery was same huge. 
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Technically speaking, We saw two francis turbines, which are reversible flow turbine. It means that they can even be used as pumpms when there is scanty demand of electricity. 
MIV (Main inlet valve) is the only thing that fascinated me as a mechanical engineer. The way the work has been executed, i was speechless.


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Wow... The moment I took a bath after a long break of 4 days, the world seemed like singing as a lark... I am sorry but believe me I can give 100 valid reasons for not having bath these 4 days. 
My friends taunted me like hell when I declared midway in a lecture that I hadn't take bath for more than 3 days. Tushar clinched his nose with his fingers like ambience stank up like hell. I literally was not stinking at all. I was feeling like I was sick. 
Finally I reached home panting like a dog after climbing up 3 long staircases.

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Heading speedily towards Exclesior-'12. Have lots lots of art assignments to complete. Hope everything will go smooth like butter. Getting little tension if work will complete. crossing my fingers!!! 

My Gulbarga Trip

chor manzil in Gulbarga

     “Welcome to Karnataka. To get the lowest call rates while roaming with us, dial so and so. Enjoy your stay in Karnataka.” there was a message in my inbox. Our speeding Tavera transcended in the land anciently called as Vijaynagara Empire.

Far along the horizon, there appeared a mosque-like structure. In misty winds clad with vortices of dust, that dark silhouette appeared like a movie scene.

“Well that’s Chor manzil, famous spot in Gulbarga”, Kaka added to our curiosity. Its construction was same like Gol-gumbaz in Bijapur.

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     The day before yesterday I got a chance to attend 28^th national conference of BAMCEF at Gulbarga. This was my very first conference and it turned out to be a good experience.

     Although I am an apathetic child in the fields of elections and politics, I understood what Mr. Waman Meshram was trying to address from the dais. He put forth that in our regular elections, party becomes eligible to form the governing body by winning the elections, even if 30% of the total MPs support it. This he told is the defect in current structural defect in elections.

     The each and every word he delivered from the dais was coming with such an energy that it it was getting permanently engraved in the heart. Then I came to know why BAMCEF has bloomed in such a way.

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     Vihar near Gulbarga University is a magnificent delight for those who believe in Buddhism. A huge dome (Stupa) and a spacious meditation hall underneath work like a tranquilizer for your mind. In stupa a Buddha idol is seated with his two disciples.  Taiwanian artistry shows its way through the design of these idols. Lord Buddha, appears to be looking down to whoever is sitting before him and his two disciples; even their eyes appear to be fixed in Lord Buddha’s feet.

     As we lean down thrice before Tathagata, and get up, our ever-suffering mind starts to get narrow and gets truncated like pinnacle of the Stupa. Inner walls of the Stupa are decorated with Buddha idols with his various hasta-mudra. This scene adds to the aristocracy of the ambience.

     A large meditation hall, structured with massive stambha (pillars) resemble the ones in Ellora caves. Meditating there, with eyes closed, you can listen to a sound. The sound of serenity. The sound of silence. As you go deeper and deeper within your endless mind, this sound reverberates through the hall and fills up the multitudes of the nukes and corners of the mind. There you get a feel of the universal oneness. You step out of the hall, thinking that if 15 minutes session of meditation can render you this serene, then how a nirvana will… A state of complete surrender… A state called as moksha…

You step out in the golden sunshine and you get connected to the world again; the real world, under the scrutiny of burning sun. You start walking to home but enigma and that ancient charm accompany you forever after…

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Time to rest.

Hah... Finally I exhaled with a sense of being free. Finished all my exams on 2^nd. How soothing it feels when you come out of the exam hall and straightway go to some eatery with friends!!! No tensions of tomorrows, nothing important to do as such and no deadlines to follow. Entire time of the day to own. The best sensation on the earth.

A sudden upsurge of need to write something came out from deep bottom of the mind –ah – that  was buried under it since 45 days!!!  So, penning down some of my current thoughts.

Really, making way through any task feels like emptying a container. No more to do. And I think this feeling is essential in life -  like after jumping over a hurdle on the track, an athlete feels. He gets a new enthusiasm for running. These term end exams were no difference.

Feeling rather organized now. First of all, I cleared up the mess which was waiting in the room to get cleared right from the day preparation leave started and till the day exams got over. And why, it felt like releasing loads off the shoulders. I didn’t know clearing up your stuff functions like a “commercial” mood-booster before this!

Of nudity, sex and life

Beyond a bumbat sexuality, there exist humanism. A pure human, who needs acceptance and esteem from  society. Silk is a legend- created, fostered, exploited and thrown away by community. Though she is bold, her sufferance drags her to an acrimonious suicide. The worst part of it. Smitha is a rebel to oh-so-proudly sophisticated society. The line seriously bears the gravity- Hameshase mardoka zamana raha hai aur auratone hungama macha diya hai.

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Friday evening came with two great pleasures. One was the most awaited end of semester exams and the other was a bunch of movie tickets and best part was the movie tickets had the title ‘The dirty picture’. Yeahh… The same one.

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“What so dirty about it?” The film questions you. Are the costumes dirty? Or slangs? It must be the showbiz of some of the private assets that belong to a famous name- Vidya Balan. Umm-no. Silk, Silk smita. The ever glazing fabric which in turn came out to be frivolous.

At one point there comes a shot in which silk gets awarded for her work(?)  And unfortunately her ‘chief-exploiter’ gives away the award. She possess such a daring attitude that she stands in front of whole audience and vents her feeling off. She straightway questions the audience – ‘If I am filthy then what will you call of yourself? I make showbiz of whatever god has gifted me. Aren’t you the ones who look at it with lusty gazes? I admit my movies are not suitable for family watching but aren’t you the ones who watch them sneakily? ‘ At that point somebody calls her the real bagawat.

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Silk is another side of a woman, the woman who throws herself upon the men who beckon at her. She celebrates her womanhood her best. Here she is different than other women. She breaks all the rules set by the community for the proximities of opposites. She enjoys the “sex” part of it up to her fullest. Be it for the solutions for her personal purposes like success and for getting more work…

 But life wants everyone to be pragmatic at one or the other time. When it comes to the terms of the relationship, the only thing she gets is frustration. She can’t take it when the man who is so crazy about being naked with her in bed has nothing to do with her existence and happiness. She comes to know her position in his life when she sees his wife cuddling him up in his bed and his care for her which shows its way out through his gestures.

Her heart breaks into pieces at this point. She searches for love in every relationship she comes across but she finds every man far beyond being “tangible”. Nobody is ready to marry her. Everybody says-“aisi ladkiya sirf bistar tak laneke liye achhi hoti hai, shadi karneke liye nahi.”

This all affects her seriously leading her to withdrawal from her own life. In addition to this, she loses everything she collects through her life.  Money, status, fame… everything. To meet her rising dues, she searches for the work and meets a director. And fatefully, he happens to be a porn film director. He makes drink for her so that she can be at ‘ease’ during act. But police raids there and she gets thrown away on the roads. Alcoholised, she hardly can walk, she vomits on the road and sees her own reflection into it. That is the damn suggestive scene of the movie. The whole movie is decorated with many of such beauty-spots. A parallel love story of silk and imraan comes like a ray of hope but turns into a tragedy.

And finally, resigned from her battle for her existence, she says- “zindagi toh tabhi mehsoos hoti hai jab who sabse mayoos hoti hai”

That’s it. After that an overdose of sleeping pills. A dreadful peace fills up the ambience. The peace she is in search of from ages…

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